Creative guilt v. cat scarves

Let's say there is a creative thing you’re drawn to like painting or making clay pots or knitting tiny scarves for cats. Let's say you're not doing this thing, or you're not doing it as much as you'd like, and that “not doing” is eating you up? You could call that creative guilt.

Feeling like you're letting your creative, dream-self down? It’s the pits, you guys.

I totally fight with myself on this all of the time, especially with my job.  It’s not fulfilling my desires to create beautiful things and collaborate with people on said things and help children learn or start a goat farm (those are my dreams, yes, what of it?).  Guess what desire it does fulfill? My desire to pay my rent and not worry about grocery shopping and to feel like a productive being.  Having been on the other side of this fulfillment, I can tell you, it can bring you down, man. Don't discount those basic desires. They're pretty fulfilling too.

Oh, but the creative guilt! It’s so mean.  I see friends who are making it in their chosen creative field and I feel like I failed.

Here’s a thought I had today, whilst attempting to leave the personal pity party I was attending: What about turning the guilt around and just admitting that we’re searching and hungry? Hungry to express ourselves, to talk to other people about whatever it is our art is, and feel like we belong in that conversation. There’s a lot of snobbery in the world of art and creativity I think, like your art isn’t art because it’s not something enough. Ugh. Shut up with that garbage.

 Or, if I spend 45 hours a week at an accounting firm, staring at a computer, and only 4 hours a week (or less) on wood working and doing an hour or two of writing, then I’m not an artist, or a writer, or a woodworker. I think that the challenge is not defining ourselves simply by what we’re doing most of the time. No, I’m not a professional wood worker. Why? Because my income does not come from woodworking, not because I suck at it. I do it though, right? And that's GOOD becuase if I stopped doing it because I felt like "oh, well I'm not legit, I don't commit myself to it 100% of time", then I wouldn't be doing it AT ALL.

I guess my point is that, I’m going to stop worrying that there’s this unfulfilled creative person living inside my corporate routine that hates me. I’m going to try to accept that I can be a person who isn’t defined by their job, and that attacking my free time with creativity sounds kind of scary yet amazing.  Honestly, go sing in the shower, write the words down when you get out, and head to work. Tomorrow, maybe you sing it again. Next weekend, you ask a friend to play the guitar while you sing it because why not? Just don’t stop. If you decide to dedicate your life to your creative practice then I am in full support and I think you’re fantastic, but it’s not like “quit your job and be creative” or “keep job, never be creative” are the only options for everyone.

Creativity is a journey, which is an overused word but I really like it. Creating art is a journey and it shouldn’t be another opportunity to tell yourself you can’t, because you have a boring office job or you’re too young or you’re too old. Just stop.

So lay off yourself and go figure out what it is you want. Make a birdhouse or write a play or sing songs about your dog or paint portraits of your friends.  Just make sure you do it. Shove a sock in the mouth of guilt and inadequacy and get on with it. Oh, and then please tell me what happened because I’m really excited just thinking about it.