No Doubt is a band that I was very into in middle school. It
has also become somewhat of a goal. Not having doubt. Like, when someone says “I
love you”, I would like to think to myself “Yeah!
No doubt!” and when someone tells me I look pretty, I wish I could just high
five them and yell “Hey, no doubt!” (somehow without sounding cocky?) or when
someone tells me that going back to school was a really good move and that I
should be proud of myself, I want to agree wholeheartedly and exude confidence.
Instead, sometimes I feel like saying “Really? Huh.”
I doubt the crap out of stuff. I’ve been reading about this
whole “I totally doubt myself” thing, and everything I’ve found makes me feel like
an even bigger loser. I do not like associating the words “insecure” with
myself. Ew. I mean, no one likes insecure people! Isn’t “clingy” like the worst
thing you can be in a relationship? And aren’t people, whether its friends or
colleuges, more drawn to confident people, who think everything they’re doing
is the coolest? I'm wondering if maybe everyone feels doubt, but some people let it take over and some don't? I'm thinking that might be the case.
I think we’ve all had this experience. It happens at work,
with friends, with people you’re smooching with on a long or short term level,
and it stinks. It makes me feel dumb and that’s got to be one of my least favorite
feelings. So I’m trying, along with not apologizing for things I don’t need to
apologize for, and not letting every little thing worry me, to deal with this
doubt thing. Here’s my thought though: you might always have a little doubt in
the back of your mind, and you can bring it out when you’re questioning things,
but if it’s not helpful, like it’s making you think people that love you really
don’t, or that you’re not beautiful when in fact you are a gorgeous and lovely
individual, you need to put it away. Being vulnerable is good, doubting
yourself, seems bad. I’m sure there is a more scientific way to deal with this
(like hypnosis, which I found today while googling) but I’m just going to try
telling my doubts to shut up and leave me alone. I will doubt my doubts. It will
be meta.
Anyone else have any suggestions for dealing with doubts?
Tell me! I will sing No Doubt songs to you in return.
