You're good.

How's everyone feeling? Perfect? Beach body ready for the waves, feeling financially secure and prepared for your summer plans, travels, or, my favorite, the unexpected expenses that seem to appear during my favorite time of year (hello new air conditioner, I can't live with thee). Applying for a new job every night after work, after your workout, and before you fold all of your laundry neatly in your closet? So is that a no then? Dangit. Me neither.
As summer approaches, and I get ready to move in with my very lovely partner in crime, and go to weddings that have been in the works for months, and to head out on a few little trips here and there, I can't help but be a little disappointed. I was going to be in shape for these weddings I'm in and for the shorts I want to wear, and I was going to solve the mystery that is my wide array of insecurities before I move in with my boyfriend, and I was definitely going to have saved way more money than I have so far. For things like air conditioners and bridesmaids dresses. The thing is, though, that this is one summer. There will be a fall after that, and then it will be winter again. Each season, holding us accountable, and giving us a reason to feel like we're behind. I'm turning 30 in September. I thought I would be married by now. And have a kid or two. Or at least own a dresser and stop overdrafting my checking account. In the last week though, as I hear about people getting new jobs, losing jobs, getting married, breaking up, losing weight, gaining weight, falling in love, having babies, and dogs, and cars and cars breaking down, and parents getting sick, I realize that we're all in different places. No one has it all together. Listening to the conversations of people passing in the street, there's always someone who is in a situation that I couldn't imagine. Maybe they can't imagine mine. The point here is, I don't think this is a scavenger hunt, where we need all of the pieces to complete the puzzle. It's not a task. Yes, there are tasks, yes, goals are good. You know what I don't think is good though? Comparing yourself to other people. Looking down on people or looking down on yourself. You're where you are, and maybe it's not the best, but you've been through stuff before, and you survived, and you will survive again, exceed your own expectations maybe. I have trouble with this. I have yet to stop comparing myself to certain skinny girls for whom I have created a perfect life story to go along with their bodies. I feel better knowing that I'm aware of it. So I can kind of smack it in the face when it comes along. Not the skinny girl, my insecurities, silly! You can't dwell on what you're doing wrong all of the time. At some point, you need to really understand how good you are in the place you're in. It doesn't have to be where you are in a week or in a year, but it's still you now, and you're beautiful in all of your different stages, in one way or the other. Okay? I'm serious here. You're real good stuff.

xoxoxox Alexis