Things I'm pretty sure about. Today.

I just don’t have anything to say today.

That was the thought I had this morning, while I was lying in bed, thinking about the things that today needed to include. Besides dragging myself to the gym, I had promised myself to post a piece of writing here every Wednesday. For myself, and because it makes me feel connected to you people (I think there are a few others besides my mom, right?) and connection feels good. This morning, though, I started feeling like there was nothing to share. I wasn’t feeling super inspired. I was feeling kind of negative, and anxious. What does this sleepy, anxious person have to say, that could possibly matter? Not the best way to start the day, right? So I took a deep breath, and let my thoughts break up a little bit, and scattered them around in an even and gentle way. I learned things this week. I made things and I saw things. I don’t think they connect, but let’s see:

Inspiration can be borrowed. This last week I have been so proud of my friends for what they are doing. My best girl started a beautiful blog that makes me want to go run around in the sunshine and drink coffee while wearing a stylish poncho, while saving the Earth, and really, who doesn’t want to feel that way?  Another friend of mine started this fantastic dog walking and sitting company and it’s going so well. Another friend finished a half-marathon, and I can’t decide if I’m more impressed with that or the way she supports her community through her work in radio. Instead of feeling jealous or feeling bad about what I’m doing, I just grab some of their enthusiasm, and inspiration, and let it feed into mine. Know what I mean? I use my friends for inspiration all of the time. Strangers work well for this too. 

Give yourself a break. I get cranky when I’m hungry. I started carrying a granola bar with me wherever I go. Feel bad that I suddenly turn into a small child who needs a nap/bottle/diaper change? Nope. If you know that Thing A makes you unhappy, what’s something you can do immediately to fix it? Should I work on my ability to persevere through hungry and be more patient? Sure. You don’t have to become a better person all at once though. Do little stuff.  

Find a thing you can throw yourself into when needed. Sometimes the mind is moving too fast to “calm down, take a deep breath, blah blah”. Sometimes you have to tear around like a wild animal, right? Anyone else? This weekend I discovered that I can put my anxiety and “oh my god I’m going to freak. out!", into psychotically cleaning my house. And painting any and all things with white paint. Picture frames, a ladder, it all has to get painted. Manic sounding? Maybe? But it works, and I felt better afterwards. I have to wear myself out sometimes. Warning, this WILL scare the person you live with, if you happen to be cohabitating. Just tell them, with huge, bugged out eyes “I HAVE TO DO THIS” and they will leave you alone.

So that’s it. That’s what I have. But I have it, and it’s mine, and that’s what’s so nice about learning things. When you learn, that knowledge is yours now, they're tools, and for that, you’re better off than you were before.

What did we all learn this week? Speak up in the comments!

* thanks to Foxtail + Moss, Home Treat Home and E3 Radio for letting me borrow some of your inspiration today.