Oops.

So it's day 11 of the new year and I woke up, feeling outstanding. I had made it through a particularly annoying evening of cigarette cravings, and had arisen victorious. I met by boyfriend for coffee. Things were great. I was drinking my coffee, thinking about the day ahead...Oh no. The day ahead. I don't want to finish that project at work. And then tonight. It's Friday, and I'm not drinking? Or smoking? That's annoying. What am I going to do, take another 43 pictures of my dog, like I did last night. Ugh!! Also, why is my boyfriend not paying attention to me? Stop looking at your phone, dude! Am I boring? I think my face looks dumb today...This, my friends, is what the start of a melt down in my head sounds like. It sounds nuts, and it comes on as quickly as a strong wind, ripping through a peaceful afternoon picnic. Screw your picnic, I am on a warpath.
Feeling unhinged, having a meltdown, or, as some people call it, totally losing your shit and going cray, is never a good feeling. I find it to all too common when I am trying to reach a goal, such as quitting something I like, starting something I don't like, or attempting to change my attitude towards something. I'm cruising along, feeling like, yeah, things are alright and I am totally in control and then BOOM. No, I am not in control, yes, I feel like a coo-coo bird.
As I hate this feeling and how long it takes to build myself back up after this kind of loss of confidence/foothold on reality, I have decided to try something new. I will be coining it as the "Oops Method". Let me explain: When my sister was a baby, and learning to feed herself, she would drop her spoon on the floor quite often. Her fat little baby hands were not totally sure about the whole "grasp and hold on" technique of utensil usage.When she would drop her spoon, which was hopefully covered in nasty baby yams or peas, (sick!) we would say "Oops!" and hand it back to her. I mean, I think we washed it first? Over time, she started saying "Oops!" and then throwing her spoon on the floor. And then giggling hysterically, yams dribbling down her face. Cute. Either way, "oops" was a way to dismiss a behavior. We said it to let her know that, while you don't want to drop your spoon, it's OK, we're going to hand it back every time. She used it as a "Hey my people, I'm going to drop this spoon and you're not going to be mad, k?". A little misguided, but who cares. Babies aren't known for their smarts.
My point: I find that, after realizing that I have totally or partially lost my grip on my goals or have flipped my shit over something that may or may not matter, saying "oops" helps. It is a way to acknowledge that I've lost my cool a little, but that it's OK. I can pick it back up. No one's mad at me. I take a deep breath, take a minute, and start over.
This has been working for me. Today. So far. It's just an idea. It might not work for you, but when I find something that works for me, it seems selfish not to share it. So, have your meltdown, throw your spoons, and then pick them back up and stroll on.

xo